the starbucks club
by xdecoydreams
Summary: AU. "World domination is child's play in comparison to understanding your mind. Do something about it — I feel like Hitler-gone-fail, right now, and that's really not okay." —NejiTen.


**title: **the starbucks club.  
><strong>summary: <strong>"World domination is child's play in comparison to understanding your mind. Do something about it — I feel like Hitler-gone-fail, right now, and that's really not okay."  
><strong>dedication: <strong>les. Because a combination of _lips like sugar_ and _youth & whiskey _inspired this and this story just _suits her_, okay?

**notes1: **I CAN'T KEEP TOUCHING YOU LIKE THIS IF IT'S JUST TEMPORARY BLISS.  
><strong>notes2: <strong>I adore The Cab, right now.**  
>notes3: <strong>Please review! :D

.

.

.

.

.

**september 04.  
>03:42pm. <strong>

Today is the final day of my summer vacation, and that is really not okay.

.

**03:43pm.**

I've had a really unproductive summer, this year. Homework? Incomplete. Social life? Dead.

.

**03:45pm.**

Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D? Very much completed.

.

**03:45pm.**

Twice over.

.

**03:47pm.**

Oh God, what happens if I get back to school and _everyone hates me_ because I've ignored them all summer in favour of playing Resident Evil?

.

**03:48pm.**

I guess I could tell them I've been mourning my recently deceased grandmother?

.

**03:49pm. **

No, that wouldn't work, my grandmother is like, bee-eff-eff's with Hinata's grandma.

.

**03:51pm.**

WHY CAN'T I THINK OF EXCUSES? Ohh, I despise my life, right now.

.

**03:54pm.**

I think now is the time for a nice, long, hot, _steaming_—

.

**03:55pm.**

—coffee. What'd you think I was going to say? Naughtyyyyy.

.

**03:56pm.**

Yeah, a nice plot-inducing coffee shall do me some good. And the fresh air, that'll be good for me, too.

.

**03:57pm.**

Note to self: leave DS at home.

(I dropped my stylus in my drink, last time. You know, whilst playing Resident Evil.)

(Yeah.)

.

.

.

the**starbucks**club—❤  
><em>by xdecoydreams.<em>

.

.

.

If there was one thing Tenten hated more than having naturally brown hair (because, like, brown was boring. Why couldn't she have naturally bright-pink-and-obnoxious hair, like Sakura?), it was Konoha in the summer.

Or, perhaps it wasn't the summer itself that she hated — it was the stuff that came with it, like the burning hot tarmac that prevented her walking barefoot, and the sweaty, clammy skin that made her clothes stink of farmyard and her tee-shirt cling to her lower back in that wet, uncomfortable way. She hated having to peel her bangs off of her forehead, she hated not being able to wear her skinny jeans for fear of leg-suffocation, and she hated not being able to eat hot food. _Yummy_ hot food.

Like Pop Tarts.

No Pop Tarts made Tenten want to throw herself from a multi-storey building. Repeatedly.

If it weren't for the long break that consumed practically the whole season, Tenten would say that she hated summer.

But she didn't.

She just hated the heat, because hello, heat made her feel disgusting.

("Hi, I'm Tenten-surname-undisclosed, and I smell like gym socks. Enjoy my presence.")

Tugging at her flimsy shirt, she drifted lazily in the general-ish direction of Starbucks, feeling slightly coffee deprived with a side of light-headed. Perhaps…perhaps it was the fur-lined hat she was wearing. Making her head feel like a semi-deflated balloon.

A likely tale.

Her numerous bangles and wristbands chink-chinking against one another, she pushed open the door, with a little more effort required than usual, and stepped inside the shop, letting the cool air conditioning cleanse her slick, honey coloured skin.

She tugged off her hat, and pushed back her bangs, offering a smile to the girl behind the counter. She skipped past the hot drinks on the overhead menu, glancing straight to the cold, before turning to the girl and smiling again.

"Hey, Mei," She waggled her fingers at the brunette — her multiple bracelets slipped straight down her arm, coming to rest near to her elbow. "Can y'get me a frapp on your staff-discount-y-thing? I'll like, pay you back, as soon as possible. Pleeeeeeeeease?"

Mei chuckled, shook her head, and set about making Tenten's iced beverage. "You know, you still owe me for your last drink."

"Thank yooooou!"

Tenten flailed toward the other end of the counter, grinning, and slapped her hat down onto the table. She leant her cheek into her palm, and watched the back of the girl — a new employee, probably, due to the fact that Tenten didn't recognise her at all — who was busy making another customer's order.

(She was making a hot chocolate, with heavy cream on top.

Who drinks hot-and-heavy drinks in the summer?)

The barista-girl had extraordinarily pretty hair, Tenten thought, for someone with a nearly-masculine build. It was pulled back into a low ponytail that reached the middle of her shoulder blades, and it was a pretty shade of brown, not the dark ash brown that Tenten's hair was, more of a hazelnut colour, not brown, but not quite red, either —

"Who ordered the hot chocolate and cream?"

"Holy _shit_."

Tenten blanched.

The employee stared.

"Is there a problem?"

Tenten blanched some more.

"You're a _dude_."

The employee stared some more.

"Yes…"

As the rightful customer claimed their drink and moved away to grab a napkin, glancing oddly back over her shoulder at Tenten, the (male) coffee-maker (who was a man) blinked slowly at his brunette counterpart (who was female, unlike himself), and lifted a (very masculine) eyebrow.

"I'm sorry," he said, quietly. "From what I understand, you mistook me for a _woman_?"

Tenten tipped her head to the side and crinkled up her nose. "Yeah, pretty much. But looking closer, you _do_ look like a man." She laughed sheepishly. "My bad…"

The coffee-man narrowed his eyes.

Tenten recoiled.

"I'm…sorry?" Tenten curled her lips into an apologetic smile. "Hey, you must get that a lot, right? Y'need some lovin' from someone who acknowledges your gender for what it really is and doesn't run away questioning their sexuality?"

"Actually," he replied. "You're the first person to tell me that I look like a woman. Ever."

"…oh."

"So, no, I don't need some _lovin'_, and as it seems Mei is almost done with your drink, I'm going to ask you to move away from the counter. You and your sympathetic flirting are holding up the line — or should I say, _pa_thetic."

Tenten glanced back over her shoulder, and sure enough, not only was Mei just adding the whip cream to the top of her order, but there was a line of five, very disgruntled-looking, very sweaty-looking people, queuing one behind the other behind Tenten. She flapped a hand at them in an apologetic manner, and grinned, before turning back to the coffee-man.

"I'm really sorry." She took her order from Mei's clammy hands with a grateful nod in her friend's direction. "I'll, um, be going, then…"

She turned, and took a step forward.

.

.

.

Tenten didn't remember seeing the puddle of spilt coffee on the tiled floor, nor did she remember actually falling. However, the first thing she saw when she next opened her eyes was coffee-boy's face, right above hers, with furrowed brows and a mouth in the most concerned look Tenten had ever seen.

"She's giggling, and her eyes are unfocused," the employee said. "I think she may be concussed."

Tenten giggled a bit more. "Now tha' I look _eeeeven_ closer, I can see it — I can. You're actually _reeeeeally_ pretty."

"Yes, definitely concussed."

"Oh my, coffee-boy, are you _straddling_ me?"

"…no, that's the first aid kit on your stomach."

"Do you _want_ to straddle me?"

"Mei, please control your friend."

"Ohh, come on, you know you want tooooo."

"No. Get off me, stop — ugh."

.

.

.

**05:48pm.**

I just got home. My head hurts.

.

**05:50pm.**

I totally pulled…

.

**05:51pm.**

…coffee-boy's tie off in my desperate, confused attempt to rape him.

.

**05:53pm.**

I will never in a million years manage to live this down.

.

**05:55pm.**

Excuse me whilst I go into a long hibernation whilst I still have a shred of dignity left in my body.

.

**05:56pm.**

(But really.

Hot _damn_, coffee-boy.)

.

**06:00pm.**

Operation: Convince-Coffee-Boy-I'm-Not-A-Freak-And-Display-My-True-Regret-For-Calling-Him-A-Woman-And-Trying-To-Rape-Him, commence.

.

.

.

.

.

**outro: **Ahh, I love Tenten.  
>Please don't favouritealert without reviewing! D:


End file.
